Crazy Facebook Status

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

When I am home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer.

Being in a relationship is a full-time job; don’t apply if you’re not ready to commit.

Shhhhhhhh everyone around me is in a relationship and I am just here with my laptop & this page.

You want to come into my life, the door is open. You want to leave my life, the door is open. Just one request; don’t stand in front of the door, you are blocking traffic :)

I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.

A lot of men & women would rather stay single b’coz they are tired of giving their everything and ending up with nothing.

Arrange marriage these days is the agreement between two broken hearts.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? :)

That awkward moment when you are watching a movie with your dad and a love scene comes on.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful.

I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am i that hot?

Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.

Do you ever look at your friends and think “why the hell aren’t we comedians?”

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

I don’t care if you think I’m crazy. Life is too short to be normal.

The best feeling in the world is when someone you hate tells a joke and nobody laughs :)

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you. Make your appointment today.

Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

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